The Pheonix Arisen
by FuturisticVampire
Summary: He was experimented on. He was tortured. Hell, he was killed once or twice. But even when most of his power is taken away, and his ties to Hell severed, he forces himself to be patient. Now, he sees his chance. And hell yeah, he's gonna take it.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

 **So, this is my first Supernatural fanfic and I'm super excited!**

 **Sam, Dean, and Cas aren't the main focus of this story though they do play a part, so meh I guess I don't remember what the purpose of this sentence was.**

 **Oh, and Rated T for swearing, mostly.**

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Chapter 1:: Not Too Young

Felix strode into the bar with all the arrogance the word 'strode' implies. He didn't hold the door for the old man leaving, and he winked slyly at a woman at the counter as he slid onto a stool.

The bartender eyed him skeptically and paused in wiping the counter.

"I think you're in the wrong place, kid," he said.

Felix looked down at himself incredulously. "Oh, yes, I suppose I am a bit overdressed for a place such as this." He smiled at the man.

The bartender set down his cloth and said, "Look, fellow, I run an honest business here. Come on, get out."

"I'm not here for a drink," Felix said. "I'm looking for someone."

"Like I said, you need to get out of here."

Felix smirked at the man and reached into his pocket. The man tensed-after all, this was Texas-but Felix only held a black leather wallet in his hand.

"I'm sure that we can figure something out," he said, and took a fifty-dollar bill from the wallet. He placed it on the counter. The man hesitated for a half-second before quickly pocketing it.

"What d'ya wanna know?"

"Did a man come in here today, wearing a suit and tie?"

"'Lot of men come in here, 'lot of 'em wearin' a suit and tie."

"This man, he might have asked you some questions about Jax Goldson?"

The man thought for a moment, possibly wondering how much he ought to tell Felix. "Yeah, a guy just came in here and asked about Jax. Said he was an old friend of his."

"What specifically did he ask about?"

"Y'know, I don't quite recall."

Felix sighed and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill this time.

The man took it. "Wanted to know about Jax's wife's death, just a few days ago. Her heart was ripped out, from some kind of animal. Poor Jax was devastated."

Felix nodded sympathetically. "Anything else?"

"Wanted to know where he lived."

"What did you tell him?"

"And who're you, again?"

"The guy who's giving you two hundred bucks," Felix answered, and gave him another hundred.

"27 North Square Street."

"Thank you," Felix smiled and stood.

A middle-aged man held the door for him as he left. Felix didn't thank him as he passed through, because he knew that he was entitled to the man's politeness.

Once outside, he spotted his car on the side of the road immediately. His driver was leaning on the side of it, just finishing off a cigarette, and wearing the usual black leather. When he saw Felix, he flicked it onto the sidewalk and opened the door for him.

Felix settled into the cushioned seat, and pulled out a package of cigarettes of his own. His driver, Eric, lowered himself gracefully into the driver's seat, and sighed in protest as he saw Felix light one, but he knew better than to speak about it. That conversation always came out to no good.

"I need to go to 27 North Square Street," Felix told Eric.

Eric hesitated. "There's still two hours left of visiting hours at the hospital."

Felix stiffened. "So?"

"So, you promised your mother that you would visit her while you were in town."

" _So_?" He asked again. Eric looked at him in surprise.

"She's your mother, Felix."

"I have a job to do, Eric. That's more important than _family_." He said the word _family_ with a bit of disgust. He was unused to the way a _family_ worked.

"Personally, I don't think you even understand what a family is," Eric muttered under his breath.

Felix thought of about twenty things he could say to that statement, but then decided it wasn't worth the effort.

"I need to go to the motel first, to pick some things up."

Eric nodded and drove away in silence.

Felix wasn't surprised when the door to Jackie Goldson's house wasn't all the way closed. He smiled slightly and opened it enough that he was able to slip through the doorway.

He had brought a silver knife with him for stealth, but still had a gun in case that approach failed. In any case, he wasn't here for Jax, specifically. The silver was just a precaution. He had planned to arrive just after Jax was dead. Felix's purpose here was for the men who were hunting it, and the best way to meet them, he figured, was to pretend that he was a hunter who happened to be hunting the same beast as them. A bit young for hunting, they might think, but certainly they've seen weirder things.

Felix flicked his flashlight on, and looked around the room he'd just entered. There were boxes, packed and labeled, all around, like Jax Glodson was planning to move out. Felix moved on.

"Hey!" A shout came from upstairs. The corner of Felix's mouth twitched into a small smirk, and then he rushed to the sound.

When he got to the bottom of the staircase, he heard a commotion, then a gunshot. He quickly moved out of the way as a body tumbled down the stairs.

"Hey!" Same call, different voice.

Felix looked up and flinched as particularly bright flashlights were pointed directly into his face. He looked up the stairs and saw two men, with their guns also aimed at right at his heart.

 _The Winchesters._ Felix tried his hardest to keep a straight face, and was almost sure he succeeded. He clicked his own flashlight off with his thumb and raised his hands in surrender.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean Winchester demanded.

Felix looked up at him; his face was shadowed, as well as his brother Sam's. He felt his heart jump in his chest. Would they recognize him? Most likely not; he looked a whole lot different from last time they met. And it had been years. He was older.

Of course, if things didn't go as planned, he could always erase their memories of him (hopefully without erasing _all_ their memories).

"Felix Turner. How about you?"

His question was ignored. "What are you doing here?"

 _Rude._ "Well, I came here to stab a werewolf," he answered, "but it seems you've beaten me to it."

Sam and Dean hesitated for a moment, exchanged glances, then they lowered their guns. Felix lowered his hands. Sam went downstairs first, and Dean followed. They were both careful to step over the dead body.

"I'm Sam Winchester, and this is Dean," Sam said.

Felix held out his hand. "Well, nice to meet you."

Sam shook his hand, and then Dean.

"So, you're a hunter?" Dean asked.

Felix nodded. "Yes."

"A little young for that, maybe?"

"No."

"And what about your parents?"

"They were never home."

"'Were?'" Same asked.

"I live with my uncle now." _Actually, the guy my dad pays to keep me "out of trouble."_

"And do you live here, in Carmine?"

"For the time being." Felix wet his lips. "If we are going to continue this conversation, could we possibly do it elsewhere? That was rather clumsy of you, using a gun in the middle of a quiet neighborhood."

Dean and Sam both raised their eyebrows. Felix blinked once, and focused on their minds. They were going to take him out to eat burgers, because he really, really needed to speak to them.

"Okay, then," Dean said. "Um, I feel like a good burger, how about you guys?"

Sam shrugged and Dean looked at Felix.

"Um, okay," he said.

...

Felix climbed out of the Winchesters' Impala, and tried not to slam the door. Eric was very good at not slamming car doors. He was also good at waiting until Felix had just barely gotten inside the car, and slamming the door closed full force when he was pissed.

Once inside and at table, a teenage waitress with quite the bitchy face came and asked what they wanted. Bacon cheeseburgers for both Dean and Felix, and a salad for Sam.

The waitress nodded and walked away.

"So, where are you from?" Sam asked Felix.

"Maine." Felix picked at his fingernails underneath the table.

"Wow, that's pretty far up north. Does it get cold up there?"

Felix nodded. "Hard to get used to after living in Florida, but it's bearable."

Sam nodded slowly. "Oh."

"So, Felix, you're a hunter," Dean said, getting to business.

"Yes, obviously." Felix looked up at him.

"And how old are you?"

"Fifteen, as of last week."

He remembered last Wednesday in Louisiana, on his birthday.

 _"You should call your father," Eric said from the table when Felix came into the room. Felix had just woken up and showered, and hadn't gotten around to getting a shirt on yet. Eric always tried not to notice the scars, Felix could see. But they were hard not to notice._

 _"Why would I do that?" Felix yawned, and sat in the chair across from Eric._

 _"Because it's your fifteenth birthday, and your father would want to speak with you."_

 _"If he wants to speak with me, then he can call me." He took a tentative sip from the glass of water he left on the table last night._

 _Eric sighed. "Your mother is dying, Felix._ You _are going to have to make the effort sometimes."_

 _Felix leaned forward, against the table. "I was gone for three years, Eric. During that time, my father never tried to_ make the effort _. He didn't care that I saved his life-He doesn't care about me, period. If he really wants to call me, 'make the effort,' as you say, then of course I'll play along. But I'm not going to go out of my way to call him." He settled back into his chair. "Can you make me some toast, please?"_

 _Eric stood and pushed in his chair. "Of course," he said with an exaggerated bow._

 _Felix sighed and looked away angrily. Sometimes Eric's sarcasm was unbearable._

"Here you go." The waitress set the boys' three plates on the table.

"Thanks," Felix said.

When she left, Dean began talking again. "So, let me get this straight. You aren't old enough to drive, and yet you're travelling all over the country, killing monsters?"

"If you think that my young age hinders my ability to hunt, I'll have you know that I keep an angel blade that I acquired myself in the kitchen. And a gun filled with silver bullets by the toilet. I've actually had a need for that, once." He smiled in fond memory. "And still managed to keep the piss in the bowl."

Dean blinked a few times. "Okay," he said, and took a bite from his burger.

Felix smirked and did the same.

 _This tastes like shit_ , he thought. _Eric's are much better than this._

 **...**

"You need a ride, kid?" Dean asked Felix once they were outside.

"Yes, could you?" Felix shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Of course. Where're you staying?"

"Motel on Birdsall."

Dean nodded. "Well, I guess we're lucky. That's where we're staying too."

 _I know_ , Felix thought. _That's why I chose it._

"Ah, what a coincidence," he said.

In the car, Felix was silent, watching the lights go by. When they came to the motel, Felix and the Winchesters stepped out of the car.

"Thank you for the ride and for the burgers," Felix said.

"No problem." Dean replied.

"Have a wonderful night."

"Yeah, you too," Sam said.

Felix walked away in the direction of his room. He felt the brothers' eyes on him until he shoved his key into the keyhole and stepped through the door.

He was only expecting to see Eric in the room, still awake because he never sleeps when Felix is out, nibbling on a cracker and watching _Game of Thrones_. Instead, he saw Eric sitting at the table with another man. At first, Felix failed to recognize the other man, his tired face that turned from curious to angry as soon as he saw Felix. But then he recognized his own father, and he halted in taking his jacket off.

"Father." He quickly put his jacket back on. He didn't know if he'd have to run or not.

" _Felix_ ," his father, Marcus, said. He was and will always be opposed to not calling Felix by his real name. It took a while for him to start doing it at all, only after Felix had explained to him extensively the danger that any random, eavesdropping monster could hear them at literally any time, because Felix was far too lazy to bother with warding and any other precaution. And any time he used his powers too greatly, he was vulnerable to being found.

"Hello, father." Felix wished he was in his house in Louisiana, where his angel blade was hidden in his kitchen. As it was, he'd have to reach into the inside pocket of his jacket to get it and he didn't want his father to know how wary Felix was around him. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just checking on you. To see if you died or not because you _never call_." Marcus answered.

"Father, please do not use sarcasm; you may not have noticed, but you are not good at it."

Marcus narrowed his eyes and stood quickly. He came at Felix purposefully, and Felix stepped back until he was stuck in the corner.

"Felix, do not give me attitude. I am _not_ in the mood."

"I can't help but correct you when you fail, father," Felix said with a smirk. "It's in my nature."

Marcus' glare shriveled any confidence Felix had, and when he lifted his hand to strike Felix, his hand was stopped midair long enough for Felix to clear the hell out of the corner. When Marcus' hand was released, the punch which was meant for Felix only hit empty air. He looked confused for a moment, then he turned around slowly, a hell of a lot angrier than he already was. Felix resorted to hiding behind Eric's chair without making it look like he was hiding, holding his blade in his hand.

"Felix," Marcus said, eyeing the knife. "Put that away."

Felix shook his head and Eric chuckled lightly, his eyes in his book.

"Why are you here, Father?" Felix asked. "Say what you have to say and then leave."

"Your mother was worried about you," Marcus said. "But I knew that the only reason you didn't come to see her was because you're too _preoccupied_ with your little hunting jobs."

Felix sighed. His father had changed in the years that he was gone, Felix knew. And his mother? Half-dead in a hospital bed.

And Felix knew that it was hard for them to think of him as their son. He'd changed, too. Constant torture will do that to a person. Felix used to listen in on Marcus' thoughts, before it became too painful and then he decided that he didn't care. How he thought that this damaged teenager with gray hair and silver eyes wasn't his son. That his son had had beautiful red hair, a wonderful attitude, and always dinner ready for his parents. But Jesse had died in that cruel, experimental place filled with monsters and screams and too-bright lights, and now he was Felix.

And so Marcus hated Felix. And he began to realize that Felix was Felix and he had no other name, and calling him by his real name would be lying to himself.

"This wasn't just any hunting job," Felix told his father. "This was a golden chance that I couldn't pass up."

"Well, then, you could have called!" Marcus shouted. "You selfish bastard. You have no _idea_ the pain you cause me and your mom! You don't care about her, either, do you? You don't care about _anyone_ but yourself!"

"Fine, if it matters that much to you, then I'll visit my mother tomorrow!" Felix shouted back.

"No."

"What?"

"If it matters so little to you, then don't even bother."

Felix looked at him in confusion for a moment, then spoke. "I think it's time for you to leave, father."

"Yeah, I think so, too." He walked over to the table, grabbed his jacket off the chair, and stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.

Felix and Eric looked at each other. Eric took a breath, as if he were going to say something, but then shook his head and turned back to his book. _1984_ , his favorite classic, and Felix's too, besides _To Kill A Mockingbird_ , of course.

Felix could talk about books all day. That was the thing that nobody ever expected of him. Right now, though, he was too tired to speak a word. He took off his jacket and his shoes, but otherwise collapsed on his bed in all his clothes.

 **...**

Sam and Dean entered their motel room, each making themselves comfortable in their own way.

"Did something seem a little off to you about that kid?" Dean asked Sam.

"Yeah, besides the fact that he's a fifteen-year-old who's got an angel blade?" Sam laughed humorlessly.

Dean shrugged. "I mean, the _arrogance_ on that kid is unlike anything I've ever seen, but still, I feel like I've met him before."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

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 **So there's the first chapter! Review and let me know how I did ^.^**

 **Ciao!**

 **-FuturisticVampire**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Supernatural, I just write bad and cringy fanfiction.**

 **/Trigger warning at the end for people sensitive certain topics/**

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Chapter 2:: Memories Can't Hurt Me

Felix woke up at two in the afternoon but didn't open his eyes. He had no doubt that Eric would notice as soon as he did, and for the moment he didn't want to be bothered.

He wondered whether or not he should visit his mother.

If he wanted to, he could use the excuse that she wasn't actually his mother so he didn't have to go see her, but that was rude and unfair to her. She had loved him and still did love him as her son even though he wasn't, and even after he had come back a completely different person. Even when she knew what he had done, and what his time imprisoned had done to him.

He didn't dream in his sleep anymore because he chose not to. He never let himself enter a deep state of sleep, because of what he always dreamt of. The memories of the three years that he was gone and nobody found him. He got himself out of that place and killed all the people that had hurt him. At first, he never wanted to hurt anyone. That was never his intention, going forward. But they made him. They made him do it. And his mother was the only one that he told.

He remembered the way her eyes teared up after she realized that the person she saw before her was not the little boy she'd left behind. He'd had to grow up into a man in as little as three years. He felt guilty for it, but he had read her thoughts as he told her. In her mind, she wept for the innocent person he was, but she understood perfectly. If he hadn't killed them, the "scientists," she would have, for what they did to her son.

Out loud, she had said none of this. She had just taken his cold hand in her even colder one and told him she loved him, no matter what.

Felix opened his eyes. He needed a cigarette.

He sat up, looked down at his crumpled clothing, and sighed.

Eric looked like he hadn't moved from the chair by the table since last night. He had his book open, and he didn't look up from it as he said, "Good morning, Felix-Or, rather, good afternoon."

Felix did not answer. He stood and came over to the table, which was completely bare.

"Eric," he began, but a yawn interrupted him.

"Yes?"

"Where are my cigarettes?"

"Where did you leave them?"

"Right the fuck here." He pointed at the table and Eric looked over his book at him.

"Oh, those. I threw them out."

Felix was at a loss for words. "What?"

"You don't need those, Felix." He put the book down completely. "And you don't need to be drinking. I'm tired of you coming back home smelling like delinquency."

Felix tilted his head. This wasn't the first time that Eric had pulled something like this, whether it was for Felix's well-being or for some sort of payback. The man doesn't sleep, or so it seemed. He never showered, and yet he was always clean, his hair perfect and his clothes neat. He doesn't have a wife, or any family for that matter, and he doesn't drink anything but Dr. Pepper. He just smokes and drives and fights like a badass when it's necessary and worries too much about Felix.

Sometimes, in a drunken emotional moment, Felix thinks of Eric as the closest family he had. Mostly, he thought Eric was the biggest pain in the ass he'd ever had to deal with.

"You know that I can just buy more," he said.

"You know that I can get rid of any you might buy," Eric said back.

"I can hide them."

"Can you?"

Felix sighed. "I'm going to get dressed and then I am going to visit my mother. After that, we're going back to Louisiana."

"What about the Winchesters?"

"I'll deal with them when it's time." _For now, I just want to be home._

...

Eric's car was a forgettable and old black thing that Felix had suggested he get rid of many times now. It worked just fine, really, and it was always clean, but there was something about it that Felix found particularly mediocre, although it was always shiny, in perfect shape. A few moments ago, Eric had given Felix the keys to unlock it and start the engine up. The teenager had just opened the driver's seat when he heard a call.

"Hey! Felix!"

He turned. His sunglasses diluted the quality of his sight considerably, but he recognized Sam and Dean easily.

"Sam. Dean," he greeted and closed the door to speak with them.

"Are you leaving town?" Dean asked when they had reached him.

"Yes. You?"

"Yeah," Sam answered. "In fact, we caught wind of a case a few towns over and..." he hesitated.

"And?"

"And we wondered if you would like to work the case with us."

Felix smiled. It was dangerous, that he kept nudging their thoughts in directions they normally wouldn't go. But he needed this to work. And he wasn't expecting it to take effect this soon, but it didn't matter. This wouldn't disrupt his schedule in any way that he could think of; not too much.

"Work a case with you?" Felix shrugged. "Why not? Where did you say it was?"

"Lockhart, a town close by."

Felix nodded. "I have some things to take care of first, but I will be there. What kind of case does this sound like, anyway?"

"Vampires," Dean said. "Very plural. We could use some backup."

Felix nodded again. "Very well."

"Felix?"

Felix turned and saw Eric.

"Oh, there you are, Eric. This is Sam and Dean Winchester. You know, the hunters from last night." He gave Eric a look that said _Don't mess this up_.

"You must be Felix's uncle?" Sam asked and held out his hand.

Eric shook it. "Yes. Eric Turner." Lie. Eric Xioan was his real name.

"Sam Winchester. Strong grip," he commented.

Eric only smiled and shook Dean's hand.

"We were just telling Felix about a case in Lockhart," Sam informed him. "We were about to head over, and we were wondering if Felix and you wanted to join us."

"I told them I'd meet them there," Felix said.

Eric looked down to him, but not too far because Eric wasn't such a tall man and Felix had been rapidly growing these past few months.

"But you have something to do first, don't you?" he asked testily.

"Oh, yes, but I don't imagine that will take too long. Five minutes at most."

Eric looked very shocked, and then he shook his head. "Whatever you say, Felix."

"If it's too much trouble, then forget it; it's no problem," Sam said.

"Problem?" Eric had on that smile, that you knew wan't actually a smile, that you could see in his eyes he was seething. "There's no problem. We'll see you there."

"Okay. Yeah, see ya," Dean said, and he and Sam walked away.

Eric walked around Felix and opened the back car door for him. "Well?"

This was the perfect example of when Eric took his anger out on the car as well as Felix, and slammed the door shut before Felix had gotten himself all the way in.

"Bastard," he muttered as his foot was almost caught in between the door and the car. He slumped in his seat and began to pity himself.

Eric never smoked in the car, but as soon as he settled himself into his seat, he took out his pack of cigarettes and lit one up.

Felix sighed and looked out the window angrily.

"Better get that look off your face," Eric said as he started up the car. "I don't want your father firing me."

 **...**

When Eric slammed the door on Felix, Sam and Dean looked back.

"Well, now we know where he gets his attitude from," Dean said.

Sam exhaled in a half-laugh. "Oh, yeah."

Dean got into the car. "So, are we going to follow them?" He asked after they were both in.

Sam looked at him, shocked. "Why on earth would we follow them?"

"Come on, Sam, they don't seem just a little bit suspicious to you?"

Sam shrugged. "I guess so, but you're going to follow them? I don't feel like that Eric guy would be the type to not notice that."

Dean shrugged. "Why not live dangerously?" He grinned over at Sam.

"Jerk," Sam said.

"Bitch."

 **...**

Eric looked up at the rear mirror a few times nervously.

Felix observed this. "What? What is it?"

"You said that the Winchesters drive an old Impala?"

"Yes."

"Lockhart is the opposite direction from where we're going. I believe we're being followed."

Felix wanted to look behind them but knew better. "Shit," he whispered.

He thought about what he could do. He could either continue to go to the hospital and betray to the Winchesters the position of his mother, or he could detract from his schedule, again and risk pissing his father off, _again_. Not that he was really worried about that, or worried that the Winchesters could be a threat to his mother, but what if they went in there with their fake FBI badges and started asking questions? His mother wasn't stupid. She knows that there could still be people looking for him, and the name Felix Turner might have been heard somewhere by the right person, in the right circumstance. Even if she had known the address of where he and Eric lived, she would never tell any stranger just because they wore a suit and tie. Not when she was in her right mind, at least. But right now, today? Her sickness diluted the effectiveness of her mind, and Marcus couldn't be at her side all the time. Someone's gotta pay the bills. And even if Marcus didn't care whether or not Felix was taken again, he knew that it would destroy whatever remained of his wife.

And, for now, the Winchesters _could not_ know about Felix's past.

"We're not going to the hospital," Felix decided.

"What?" Eric said in disbelief.

"We can't. I can't let the Winchesters know where my mother is."

Eric seemed to understand, because he was no more passive aggressive than usual. "So, what are you going to do?"

"I'll call her, and after the case, I'll visit her before we go back home."

Eric nodded. "Whatever you say."

"Right now, we need to make it seem like we're doing something important." Felix clicked his tongue as he thought for a moment. "Do you need gas?"

"Yes, kind of."

He nodded. "We'll go to the nearest gas station, and I'll step out of the car there to make the call to Mother. I guess that's the best we can do."

Eric nodded.

At a gas station downtown, Eric came out of the car and held the door open for Felix, and they both donned their very similar-looking sunglasses. Felix took out his cellphone from his jacket pocket and searched through his contacts as he walked a few paces away from the car. "Mother's Hospital" was hers.

A pleasant and far-too-enthusiastic female voice answered the phone, and Felix asked to be connected to Nicole Turner.

"Yeppers," said the chipper voice on the other end, and Felix mentally stabbed her.

He waited for the call to be forwarded to his mother's room, and tensed when a male voice immediately answered the phone.

"Hello?" It said.

"Hello, father."

There was a pause, then: "What the 'ell're you doing?"

 _Damn._ "Calling my mother."

"And why don't you come and visit her, if you've all the sudden taken such an interest?"

"I can't, father," Felix sighed.

"Why not?"

Felix quickly debated on whether or not to tell the truth, looking around him. "I'm-I'm being followed, father."

"Followed? By who?"

"Nobody you need to be worried about."

An angry sigh came from Marcus, sounding like nothing but static to Felix.

"Well, can I speak to her?"

"She's asleep."

"Can you please give her a message from me when she wakes?"

"Depends."

Felix now sighed. "On what?"

"How long it is, mostly."

"Just tell her I need to take care of some business and I'll come see her in a few days."

"Yeah, sure." Marcus paused. "But you're actually gonna come this time, right? I don't wanna give her any false hope, again."

"Yes, father, I will come."

"I'm gonna hold you to that, boy." And then he hung up the phone.

Felix put down his phone and just looked at it. _What an asshole_ , he thought.

"Did you reach her?" Eric called from behind him.

Felix turned around. "Yes. She seemed to understand."

"Ah. So it went quite well, then?"

"Well enough."

Eric nodded. He shoved the gas pump back in its holster and held the car door open for Felix.

"Can I sit in the front?" Felix asked.

"No."

"...Okay." He got in the car and noted that Eric no longer seemed too pissed, because he closed the door like a normal person.

 **...**

"That was it?" Dean asked. "Gas and a phone call?"

"That, or they realized that we were following them and decided to take a detour."

Dean shrugged. "Or that."

"So, what now?"

"Well, now we're going to Lockhart, I guess."

Sam nodded.

 **...**

 _-Nighttime-_

Felix started awake when the car door at his feet was opened and a small box was thrown onto his legs.

"What the hell is this?" He sat up from his position of lying across the back seats and held the box to his face.

"Nicotine," Eric said, and shut the door.

He then got into his seat.

"God, you're really serious about this." Felix sighed and let the box fall from his hand.

"Damn right I am."

Felix yawned. "Where are we?"

"Just outside Lockhart." Eric started up the car and pulled out of the little parking lot of the store.

"What time is it?"

"Almost midnight."

"And the Winchesters?"

"Gone."

Felix nodded and leaned against the side of the car. He wanted to fall asleep again but didn't think he was going to be able to.

 _Life isn't worth living_ , he thought.

Especially this life. He'd already tried to end it. When he told Eric he was going to bed and went up and hanged himself. Woke up three minutes later on his bed and even more of a scar on his throat than he already had. He slit his wrists once and passed out from blood loss. When he woke up, his wrists were bandaged, Eric was sitting over him reading _Les Miserables_ , the original one, and the bed was soaked with blood.

He sighed an wondered what had brought on these depressing thoughts this time? These memories that he thought he convinced himself to forget?

He remembered the day he almost killed his father, and it was a memory that he alone still kept.

 _Marcus was sleeping, all alone in his shabby apartment, after Felix had got out of the Place but hadn't told anybody yet. His powers were all but gone and had been for a while now, after the last few experiments. But he was still able to find his father in Texas, and he stood over his bed and contemplated the past._

 _Three years in hell, and what had his father been doing? The entire room smelled like weed and incest. It wasn't very pleasant, and Felix wondered how the man could sleep, surrounded by the kind of things that were around him._

 _Felix had broken the lock on the door the old-fashioned way, with a lockpick, because he couldn't do anything with his mind. On the street, people had stared at him strangely and he couldn't have blamed them. A dirty black greatcoat over a dirty black shirt and dirty black jeans in the summer, in Texas. Shaggy hair that had lost all its coloring and wild eyes that had done the same._

 _He stood over Marcus with a shiny silver knife, the only thing he owned that was clean. He might have been there for hours, or for minutes. He couldn't quite remember. His mind had been so unfocused._

 _Then Marcus' eyes opened slightly, and focused on Felix. He was awake instantly, jumping up and pinning Felix to the wall. Felix made no move to defend himself, and definitely didn't drop the knife._

 _"Who the 'ell are you?" Marcus hissed into his face._

 _Felix was silent._

 _"I said, who the 'ell're you?"_

 _"You don't recognize me,_ dad _?" He asked and Marcus was very taken aback. "I guess that shouldn't surprise me, though. Did Jesse have this?" He gestured to the scar on his throat, from the experiment when the 'scientists' had wondered if he would die from a hanging._

 _"You... aren't my son," Marcus said, confused._

 _"No?" Felix pushed Marcus off him effortlessly. "I'm not?" He chuckled to himself. "No, I guess I'm something better now." He held the knife to his father's throat. "Well, worse for you."_

Felix flinched away from the memory.

 _What a worthless life._

He quickly wiped away a tear before it could be really noticed my himself or Eric. He doesn't cry. He doesn't cry. Ever.

 _I don't cry..._

He covered his face with his hands, and Eric pretended not to notice.


End file.
